WHO IS A REAL MAN?
SERIES: THE CHRISTIAN FAMILY
GCC message 1st Sept, 2013
Our society has many ways of describing who a man is and what men are expected to be or do. And we are going to hear many of these from our little video today as we begin.
Definition of Words
Male: Having physical features, organs and characteristics that make you different from a woman. It is being a masculine.
Being male or masculine does not make you a man.
We actually have very many males but fewer men.
Man: an adult human male. It has maturity in it. It points to responsible living.
Boy: A male child.
The future of any nation depends on having healthy families and a nation with broken families is a nation in crisis. In order for the nation to have great families such a nation needs to raise its boys to be real responsible men. But as we know the best way for this to happen is for the church to lead the way in preparing our boys to be men and also to help
1. Real men are men of Honor.
Jesus replied, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
- Such men honor God.
- You honor God by trusting in Jesus.
- You honor God by being obedient to His word.
- You honor God by honoring and loving other people around you.
- And God honors those who honor him.
- The honor of God is our criterion for our way of living.
- Men who honor God have character and integrity. And this is the way you are when no one is around.
- When you honor God privately he will always reward you publicly. Remember Mordecai and remember Joseph.
2. Real men take responsibility for their actions.
“Maturity does not come with age; it comes with the acceptance of responsibility” Edwin Cole
You cannot mature if you go through life blaming your parents, your spouse, relatives, your education etc.
You alone are responsible for your life. Period.
Adam: blamed the woman for his eating of the fruit.
David: when confronted about his sin, he was able to acknowledge his sin and to repent.
Adam was a weak man and David was a real man.
How does this play out on a daily basis? Before you ever do anything think about the result. We always reap what we sow.
Real men pay their electric and water bills. Real men pay taxes.
They do not cut corners about a wife. They do not just bring women to cook.
Real men pay school fees for their kids. If you want many kids better have the money to care for them.
3. Real Men are courageous.
Courage is acting on a need greater than self.
“Courage is the willingness to move in a direction in spite of the emotions and thoughts that bid you to do other wise. Courage is not the absence of fear. The man who refuses to move until the fear is gone will never move, and consequently he will not lead anyone.” Andy Stanley.
The Bible’s great example of courage is David in the face of Goliath.
1 Samuel 17:45
45 David said to the Philistine, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. 46 This day the Lord will hand you over to me, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head. Today I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. 47 All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.”
Our courage does not depend on muscle power or our great intelligence but our dependence on our God.
Hear what Women said after the defeat of Goliath?
6 When the men were returning home after David had killed the Philistine, the women came out from all the towns of Israel to meet King Saul with singing and dancing, with joyful songs and with tambourines and lutes. 7 As they danced, they sang:
“Saul has slain his thousands,
and David his tens of thousands.”
8 Saul was very angry; this refrain galled him. “They have credited David with tens of thousands,” he thought, “but me with only thousands. What more can he get but the kingdom?”
Women want real men and not weak wimpy fearful men.
David’s leadership was established through his courage not his talent or calling.
Show me a successful businessman and I will show you a man who is courageous, who is willing to risk his life and who is willing to exercise his faith.
Show me a great leader and I will show you a man who is a visionary a man who is ready to trust God for big things but also a man who is ready to take some courageous steps of faith.
Courage is what differentiates men from boys.
4. Real Men love to win.
Real men love winning, they have this competitive spirit. It is that spirit that makes men love sports. It that thing that makes men love wrestling it is that character that make men desire to sports cars. It is what makes men to love action movies.
It is that trait in men that makes men to be leaders, to be entrepreneurs, that desire to win.
· Winners are learners.
Ignorant men are at the mercy of those who have learned in life. We have many men who passed exams, have diplomas and certificates, but they have not learnt anything. Such men are filling our prisons, such men never ever get promoted at work, they love short cuts in life.
· Winners are men of discipline.
All discipline is a preference you decide to be and you become.
“Discipline is the correct application of pressure” said Edwin Cole.
· Winners are motivated people.
They love progress. They are self starters.
· Winners love excellence.
They never settle for less than the best.
Are you a winner or a looser?
5. Real Men respect and honor the opposite sex.
1 Timothy 5:2
Timothy is admonished to treat:
“2 Older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.”
You will know a real man by the way they treat women and girls.
Society has reduced our women to sex objects. That they are there to satisfy men’s lustful needs.
Society has reduced our women to work horses. She is there to cook and wash my clothes.
Society has reduced our women to producers of kids. She is there to give me as many kids as I need.
The worst example in the Bible of a weak man was Amnon. 2Samuel 13: 1-21
He desired to sleep with his sister, that is incest.
He talked to her and she refused and told her how evil it is He did not listen, that arrogancy and lust.
He raped her and that is criminal and the only crime that is equivalent to murder. Rapers, child abuser should be punished by firing squad. It is the worst kind of behavior a man can do.
He then threw her out after the rape. Amnon is a typical weak man. Child molesters, sexual harassment men are all weak men.
Real men see women the greatest compliments to men. They are fellow heirs. They are equal in the sight of God. They are as gifted as we are and God has called us to”
Love them, respect them, protect them and fight for their rights.
6. Real men are leaders.
When God created man he gave him the authority to lead.
26 Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”
27 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.
28 God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”
Dominion means: To lead, to manage, to steward, to occupy by way of expanding the territory God has given us.
Example of Abram Genesis 14:14-16
14 When Abram heard that his relative had been taken captive, he called out the 318 trained men born in his household and went in pursuit as far as Dan. 15 During the night Abram divided his men to attack them and he routed them, pursuing them as far as Hobah, north of Damascus. 16 He recovered all the goods and brought back his relative Lot and his possessions, together with the women and the other people.
- A leader with total command of his men
- A leader who intentionally invested in and trained men
- A leader who is able to call out and his men suit up and show up.
- A leader who raised up men ‘men born in his own household’
- A leader who knew how to skillfully fight wars and win them.
- A leader capable of responding at a moment’s notice. He is not a wimp! He was decisive.
- Leaders have the courage to act on what they see.
Any Stanley says that: “ Leaders’ are those who would rather challenge what needs to change and pay the price than remain silent and die on the inside.”
7. Real men are hard workers.
The pride of any man comes from achievement. It is an in-built thing in men. But in today’s society we have many young men who want to eat free food, they want to marry women who have money to take care of them. Such men spend their days playing cards, playing pool, or spending a whole day on facebook.
If men want the respect from women then they need to learn to work.
1 Thes. 4:
11 Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, 12 so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.
What does the Bible say about work?
1. Work is part of our leadership
I Timothy 2:8
8 If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
2. If you cannot work then you do not qualify to eat.
2 Thess. 3:10
10 For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “If a man will not work, he shall not eat.”
11 We hear that some among you are idle. They are not busy; they are busybodies. 12 Such people we command and urge in the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and earn the bread they eat.
3. Laziness brings poverty.
6 Go to the ant, you sluggard;
consider its ways and be wise!
7 It has no commander,
no overseer or ruler,
8 yet it stores its provisions in summer
and gathers its food at harvest.
9 How long will you lie there, you sluggard?
When will you get up from your sleep?
10 A little sleep, a little slumber,
a little folding of the hands to rest—
11 and poverty will come on you like a bandit
and scarcity like an armed man.
4. Laziness takes away your manliness.
HOW DO BOYS BECOME MEN?
1. Through a commitment to Jesus and his church.
A commitment to Jesus Christ as Lord is the beginning stage of alignment in any man. We naturally do not have the power to do right but Christ has the power to make us real men.
It is in the church through study of the Word, interacting with other Christian men that we are able to recover what we lost. That is why we have ministry here in church called men of honor.
2. The role of fathers in our lives.
All great qualities in life are learned from somewhere and God has placed the Christian family as the source for all initial learning, character development and responsible living.
It is the responsibility of Fathers to show our boys who is man and how real men behave. We however have men and boys who never had the privilege of being raised with a father figure in their lives. It is therefore important for such men to seek God for father in their lives. It is also important for us men to seek out such boys and provide that kind of a role in their lives. Mothers it is important to look for such man figures for your boys.
3. Role models in our lives.
We all begin life as raw materials. In us there is a potential to win, to do better as family men, to succeed in business and all of that. But we cannot do it well unless we allow ourselves to be helped by those who have been there before.
- We are Pauls who need a Barnabas
- We are Elishas who need an Elijah
- We are Timothys who needs a Paul
- We are Joshuas who need a Moses.
4. Exposing ourselves to social things that help us to be men.
a. Sports and exercise
b. Evangelism and public speaking ( my example)
c. Enrolling in the boys scouts association
d. Being a class prefect or guild minister at school.
e. When you ever want to see movies look at those with that kind of a quality.
f. Attending a boot camp.
g. Teaching our boys early on how to work and earn money.
By Rev. Peter Kasirivu