THE ROLES OF MEN AND WOMEN IN A CHRISTIAN FAMILY

SERIES:  FAMILY MATTERS 3#

GCC MESSAGE,   September 4th , 2016

EPH 5: 21-33

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Wives and Husbands

22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
 
I. THE ROLES OF THE MEN IN A HOME
  1. SERVANT LEADERSHIP
23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior
A leader must have a vision.
A leader must make decisions.
A leader must be responsible.
A leader must be out in front.

Headship is not so much of power but a role and a responsibility.
Being a Covering and protector of your wife and kids that the enemy does not tear them apart.
As a head you are responsible for the future, for the discipline and for the welfare of the family.

When it comes to decisions, you both talk through issues but you are the ultimate responsible person in the decision taken such that you may not blame it on the wife or kids.
Helping your wife fulfill her God given calling in life.

2. SACRIFICIAL LOVE
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
Must be willing to die for your wife and kids.
Must give more than you expect to take from them.
You should be willing to forego your person needs and privileges for the sake of the wife and kids.  Your wife and kids first and you second or none.
Willing to give:  TIME and family needs to your family.

When you love that lady and treat her like a QUEEN it is usually easy for her to submit and respect YOU. If you treat her like trash it is very difficult for her to respect you.

3. PROVIDING FOR THE HOME

1 Tim 5:8
8 If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.NIV
Yes in the current environment most couples both work but the responsibility of who pays for the food, house rent, school fees is on the husband.

It gives a man pride to be a provider and it instills a strong learning message in our boy children that fathers are responsible.
You cannot blame anybody even the government for your kids’ failing to go to school.

4. SPIRITUAL HEAD (PASTOR, PRIEST)  OF THE HOME


"But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." (1 Corinthians 11:3

 Lead the family in the things of God

Prayer and intercession.
Counsel, discipline  and guide

As a man I am responsible for the spiritual nurture of the home. I am the primary pastor in the home, my wife is the associate pastor and the local church compliments our ministry to the family.
What we do in our family:  We try to meet 3 times a week as a family. We also pray together as a couple and each one has their person time with God.
As a father I share our faith values with our family. What it means to know God, the things that a person of integrity does and we share our family needs and aspirations with the whole family.  During our family altar we discuss issues that need to be attended to, e.g home chores, discipline issues etc.

II. THE ROLE OF WOMEN IN A HOME

1. LOVING & SUBMISSION
22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

  • Knowing that God placed your husband in your life to lead in the home
  • Respecting him, serving him and taking care of his needs
  • Checking on him whenever you want to do a major decision in my life.
When you respect that man and submit to him as a king in that family he will love you to death. When you treat him like trash it will be hard for him to love you the way you want.

1 Peter 3: 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
2. COMPANION/ HELPMATE
Being by his side
Affirming him in the things he is doing.
Serving with him.
Being the second eye in the things you are both  doing. Women tend to see with their heart. They have a way of discerning.  Openly share with him the things you are seeing that he may not be seeing.

3. CARING FOR THE FAMILY

Bringing shalom in the home.
Provide the care, for the children that the man may not have enough time to do.
Caring for the balanced diet of the home. Making sure kids are healthy, they rest at the proper time.
Being a great host so that those who come in they experience order and peace.


III. DEALING WITH REALITY

1. Women also work outside the home.
Traditionally a woman stayed home and took care of the home, today most women work just like their husbands. In some cases they even earn more than their husbands.  You both wake up early and you both return home after 5pm. 

This requires openly sitting down and planning, you too can share in the family responsibility and in some cases cross sharing in the traditional roles.
2. The Single parents.
You will find yourself doing the roles of both father and mother. 

Look out for Christian relatives who can support you by providing the father figure role to your wife.
3. Some women are corporate/ political leaders.
Liberian president is a woman, Malawi president is also a woman.
In Uganda the IGG is a lady, the head of KCCA is a lady, the head of URA is a lady and the speaker of parliament is a lady.  In Uganda some of the large churches are pastored by ladies and some of our best doctors and professors are ladies.
It takes humility for the man to accept this calling on your wife and letting her thrive in that calling.
It will take humility for the wife to humble herself and realize that at home she is not a director, an MP or a judge but she is a mother and a wife.
4. There is a time when the man is out of a job.
That is the time when the wife should be willing to sacrifice and that is the time when the husband can do a few more chores at home and with the kids.

5. There are un-believing spouses also.
This is where the spouse shows Jesus by his or her character.

If your husband cannot be a priest in the family then you are the one. If he cannot provide then you are the one to do it.


1.The Holy Bible: New International Version. 1984 (Eph 5:21–33). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.
2. The Holy Bible: New International Version. 1984 (1 Ti 5:8). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.
3.The Holy Bible: New International Version. 1984 (1 Pe 3:3–4). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.

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